Starrk: Babysitting 101
by frivolous-vixen
Summary: After an explosion of gas from Szayel's lab turns everyone in Las Noches into chibis while Starrk is out one day, he returns to find he's the only one that can take care of them AND figure out a cure! AU fic; Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the characters.

I've got a new fic that isn't a OneShot! Woo! This one is about Coyotte Starrk. He's fun. XD Anyways, so I know there are a few fics out there that have someone or someone's getting turned chibi or into children somehow or into animals and someone else has to babysit/take care of them. It's a fun plot that's obviously been used multiple times for multiple series. (Of course I don't know all of these, just a couple, but I'm sure it's been used a lot more than that.) Anyways, I thought it'd be fun if all the Espada/Arrancer got turned into chibis, and poor Starrk was the only one there to take care of them AND find a cure. (Yeah, there is a lot of fun in that!) XD And I thought of a few things that could happen that seemed humorous to me sooo... I wrote this up, and actually completed it. There aren't many chapters, but... I think it turned out well.

PS... This fic is set in a AU setting, obviously. So I switched the numbers around a bit because A: I wanted Nel Tu there AND Szayel needed to be an Espada. (Because I love him and he deserves that much.) And I don't like Yammy. So the order of the Espada is this... Starrk, Baraggan, Harribel, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Nelliel, Nnoitra, Zommari, Aaroniero and Szayel. Sorry! If you don't like don't read. Also, this is set before Aizen/Gin/Tosen show up. It doesn't actually mean the Arrancar don't know who he is or anything so... Use your imagination. XD Read on!

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><p>It had been an unusually boring week for Starrk. Normally he could just sleep it all off, but not this week. Thus Coyotte Starrk left Hueco Mundo in hopes of finding something, anything to help him get past this sudden bit of deranged boredom. He never found what he was looking for, however. He even went as far as sneaking into the Soul Society and taking a look around. (And lucky to him, no one seemed to notice him) He was now sitting in the human world and staring at the ocean in a somewhat tired daze. 'Boring... Everythings so boring... I'm so damn bored I can't even sleep! This is truly sad.' Thought the 1st Esapda with a yawn.<p>

Elsewhere however, there was a problem. A big problem. A problem bigger than anything Hueco Mundo had ever saw before. One of Szayel's many experiments had gone completely wrong for the Espada and now, everyone in Las Noches was in trouble. Starrk was completely oblivious to what had happened... For now at least. Though he would soon find the mass disaster Szayel's lab had left as he was now leaving the human world and returning to Las Noches.

With his arms crossed lazily behind his head, he walked through Las Noches, wondering what everyone was up to. 'That's odd, I haven't seen a single Arrancar... Huh. Whatever I guess.' He thought and yawned. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his head while walking through the halls; his eyes being closed by this point. He did open an eye to glance at an Arrancer that had run past him. 'I don't recall that one... Kinda small. Well, I shouldn't worry too much, I don't even know half of the Numeros that run around here...' Thought Starrk with a nod and slipped his eye closed once again. However he soon opened his eyes once again to see yet another small Arrancar, this one the size of an infant crawling on the floor.

"The hell...?"

He mumbled and rubbed his head. He knew Arrancar's came in all shapes and sizes, but seeing two small ones just running and crawling around through the halls just didn't seem to sit well with the 1st Espada. Especially when one that he saw was infant sized. He instantly got a bad feeling. But, it couldn't have been THAT bad, right? Wrong. As Starrk made his way further into Las Noches he kept seeing small Arrancar running, slithering, crawling and pathetically trying to fly by him, giggling like they were playing. Though some were left crying. He peeked into a couple rooms to find even more making a mess. 'What the hell is going on in here?' He thought and he hurried onward, feeling as if something horrible was going on. He heard a loud commotion coming from the mess hall.

Starrk threw open the doors to the mess hall and looked on in complete, and utter, horror.

There, Starrk could see all of the Espada, not only having being covered in food with food on the walls, ceiling and floors but! All between the ages of four to six. His jaw dropped and he stared in pure shock as what he could make out was a child Grimmjow picking a fight with Ulquiorra, while Szayel was putting on a sock puppet show for Zommari whom was quietly watching. Nnoitra was trying to pick a fight with Nelliel while Nelliel was chasing Harribel around, crying for the other girl to play with her. Baraggan was trying to boss everyone around while Aaroniero was seemingly crying that he was hungry.

Starrk's eyes were wide in amazement and shock, was what he was seeing true or was he having another one of his vivid dreams? He rubbed his eyes roughly, pinched himself a couple times and even used a weak cero on his own foot to try and wake himself up, but nothing was working for the man. He finally looked back to see all of the "Espada" making a loud commotion. He felt a small twitch forming in his upper eye.

"What the hell happened?"

He cried out, he wasn't the type to get over zealous about something, anything really but this time the loud noises the kids were making were getting to him and it wasn't helping him that he didn't know what had even happened. Everyone in the room instantly quieted down, froze in place and looked to Starrk wide eyed. He could feel the tension in the air rise ten folds. He rubbed the back of his head and made a "mmk" mumbling sound. Grimmjow was the first to step up. Starrk looked down at the teal-haired boy and raised an eyebrow.

"You just said a bad word..."

Said the boy and Starrk's face went blank. But that didn't last, as Grimmjow then lunged at the 1st Espada and jumped up, kicking Starrk right in the jaw and through one of the walls.

"Don't you know not to say cuss words in front of kids you big stupid head!"

Grimmjow yelled at the man and stood in front of him, his arms now crossed over his small chest. Starrk groaned and got up from the rubble, rubbing where the boy had kicked him and staring in awe. 'That... Actually hurt... Don't tell me these little bastards still have their strengths and powers?' Thought Starrk as he stumbled away from the rubble, picking Grimmjow up and glaring at the boy.

"Alright you little... What the he-... I mean what happened here?""

Starrk asked, and Grimmjow blinked up at the 1st Espada and shrugged. Starrk sighed heavily and set the boy down before looking around the room to see they were all still staring, and all of them were dripping in food from what he assumed was a food fight that had happened before he arrived. He groaned and rubbed his face. He then snapped his eyes to Szayel and narrowed them at the pink haired boy.

"You..."

He spoke through gritted teeth. He growled lowly and lunged at the pink haired boy, swiping him up which caused the young boy to yelp in surprise. He glared at him while holding him out in front of himself.

"Alright you little mad scientist, what the hell did you do THIS time?"

This time when Grimmjow tried to hit the 1st Espada he sensed it and ducked, causing the teal-haired boy to crash into some of the others. Szayel on the other hand was staring up at Starrk with wide and watery eyes.

"I-I dunno what you mean...! I didn't do nothin'!"

Cried the young boy and his tears were about to fall. Starrk wasn't the type to panic, no. He was too lazy, too calm and laid back to panic. Normally... This time however he felt panic wash over him as he looked over all of them and saw that not only was Szayel about to burst into tears but the rest of the Espada as well. 'Oh crap...' He thought and mentally kicked himself. He shook his head quickly and looked around the room, biting his lip. 'Dammit, what do I do? I don't know how to cheer kids up! I don't even know what makes a kid tick! Ugh!' He thought and looked to Szayel.

"D-Don't cry! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything by it! Um... Uh... Wait a minute! Stay here!"

He spoke and sat the young Espada down and rushed away from the scene of the crime. He made it to his room and he quite literally tore it up within a couple seconds, searching desperately for something. 'Where'd I put it?' He thought and groaned before he dove under his bed. With an "Ah ha!" he grabbed what he was seeking and made a beeline for the mess hall and found all the Espada in tears. He groaned and held out what he had searched for, giving it a good squeeze.

"Look!"

He cried out, praying that this would cheer them up. Szayel was the first to look at him and his eyes studied the thing in Starrk's grasp. In an instant the tears and woes were faded and forgotten and he was making an "Ooohh" look on his face as if he was mesmerized by the little thing. The rest as well stopped their crying and stared in awe. 'Thank God...' He thought with a sigh of relief and gave it another squeeze. It was a relaxation kind of squeeze toy that looked somewhat like a person, but when squeezed, it's eyes, ears and mouth sprung out in a goofy manner. He was now truly thankful that he had kept it from one of his trips to the human world. In an instant, all woes in the room was gone and the children were surrounding Starrk.

He felt somewhat nervous to have all eyes on him in such a way. Especially considering all the eyes belonged to members of the Espada. He handed off the toy to Szayel whom resumed squeezing it, now giggling at it along with the others. He then stepped over them and backed away, eyes wide. 'This is not good... No no... Not good at all...' He thought and gulped. He turned to leave to try and find something to figure out what happened before he stumbled over something and landed face first on the ground. Groaning quietly he looked down to his feet to see a small toddler. His eyes then went wide.

"L-Lilynette!"

He gasped and swiped the young little girl in his hands, staring at the toddler he had just stumbled over. 'She's a... B-Baby?' He groaned at the thought and stared in shock, worried for his other self. She looked up to him with wide eyes and sniffled before whimpering. He shook his head and looked around, wondering what he was supposed to do. 'What do I do? What do I do?' He thought and glanced back to Lilynette whom was about to start crying. He shakes his head quickly and held her close to himself before hurrying to his room. Once there he looked around the room, wondering what he could possibly use to stop the sniffling and tears.

However he then realized she was no longer sniffling. He looked down to her and blinked as she seemed perfectly content being held in his arms. 'She just... Wanted held? Huh... Okay then... I can do that.' He thought with a nod and smiled. He then knew what he needed to do: Go search Szayel's lab and see if he could find anything regarding the mess Starrk had returned to. With a quick nod he made his way to the lab Szayel was usually always found in. (Except of course, this time) Once there he began searching, and soon found a few broken beakers at one of the counters.

He then found the log Szayel kept of all his experiments. 'Alright you son of a bitch, what were you working on last?' He thought as he sat in the chair with Lilynette in his arm still, his other hand flipping through the pages until he came across the last entries. He leaned back and began reading through it, though he severely did not want to be doing this of all things. With a quiet groan he read every word of the madman's last few pages, but with little help to finding out what had happened. 'This is not helping me...' He then sat up and snapped his fingers.

"Ah! I almost forgot!"

He said more to himself than someone else and hopped up, being careful with the now sleeping Lilynette. He flipped on Szayel's computer and pulled up his last video logs. 'I forgot, after that incident with the mind erasing drug Szayel began keeping video logs of his work while he was working.' He thought and after finding the last logged video he turned it on and watched. There he saw Szayel working away on one of his many experiments, and then... Verona and Lumina jumped up and knocked one of the holders for the beakers over, causing a gas explosion. Starrk was grinding his teeth as he watch the gas get released through out the lab and no doubt through out the rest of Las Noches.

Then he watched as Szayel's passed out form shrunk to the size he found him in. After fast forwarding a bit, Starrk saw Szayel wake up and look as if he was lost. 'They must not have any memories of themselves...' He thought with a heavy sigh. After watching Szayel run off and the video cut off Starrk stood and looked down to Lilynette whom was completely content. 'Great... Now everyone in Las Noches are kids... Why did this have to happen...?' The 1st Espada thought with a quiet groan. He began walking out of the lab and headed back to the mess hall where he found the other Espada running amok once again.

"Hey! Everyone just simmer down now! Sit!"

He called out, however no one listened. He felt his twitch return. He then closed his eyes, raised his Spiritual Pressure and opened his eyes once again, staring at everyone with deadly intent. Though Starrk never really had to do such a thing to the others, this was definitely one of the few situations that called for it. Everyone froze in place and looked to Starrk wide eyed and fearful. He then pointed to the floor in front of him, and without having to speak anything they all gathered and quickly sat down quietly, some shaking in fear and a couple sniffling. (Nelliel was about to break out in tears) As Starrk saw this he recovered and hid his Spiritual Pressure once more.

"Alright... Listen up kiddos. I'm apparently the only adult here now, so that means I'm in control. You're gonna do as I tell you until we can fix this mess, got it? No more running amok. If you do you'll be punished. Understand?"

He asked and looked among the young Espada. They all nodded eagerly, staring at him in awe. He took a deep breath and looked down to Lilynette before looking to the others, grinding his teeth. 'They're all covered in food... Ugh... I'm going to have to bathe them... Great.' Thought Starrk and rolled his eyes. He then motioned for them to follow before turning and leaving the mess hall. They all followed closely behind him without protesting. Starrk was thankful for this, but wondered how long it'd last...

TBC

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><p>Chapter one is posted! Please review to let me know how things are going thus far. I'm not very well with humor... Sorry! Review please!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the characters.

Hi! I'm back with another update. I got five reviews for this so, I figured I'd go ahead and update it. I'm glad people seem to enjoy it. Then again, who can't enjoy Starrk getting stuck with babysitting duty? XD Well, please read and enjoy!

PS... Sorry my humor sucks.

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><p>Starrk's bathroom was one of largest bathrooms considering he was Espada number one. However even if he had the biggest bathroom in all the universe, it wouldn't be big enough for nine rowdy Espada children.<p>

"Ugh!"

Starrk cried out when Grimmjow jumped off the toilet and did a cannon ball into the tub, thoroughly splashing everyone, Starrk especially. Szayel looked thoroughly angered while Zommari was sitting quietly in one of the corners of the tub, bathing himself. Baraggan had his army of squeaky ducks invade Zommari's space, causing the young Espada to lash out and rip off one of the ducks heads. Starrk felt a part of him die then. 'I liked that duck...' He thought with a tear.

He soon recovered and grabbed the loofah, wacking both Baraggan and Zommari on the head.

"Both of you! Behave!"

He said with a soft glare. Zommari instantly obeyed and quieted down while Baraggan grumbled to himself along the lines of "How dare he" while Starrk went back to trying to finish the job. He had told Harribel and Nelliel to watch Lilynette in the bedroom until the boys were done bathing so that they wouldn't clash in the tub. (Starrk knowing he didn't want to have to explain the subject of why girls were different than boys) Now as Starrk began to scrub Nnoitra whom continued to try and rough house with Grimmjow (Whom eagerly accepted the challenge) Starrk could see this wasn't working out very well.

Ulquiorra and Aaroniero were both done and so was Zommari and Baraggan by this point, now all was left was finishing with Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Szayel before moving onto the girls. How fun thought Starrk. When he seen Szayel had finished he sighed with relief.

"Alright! Baraggan, Zommari, Aaroniero, Szayel, be good Espada kiddies and get out of the tub and dry off with those towels over there!"

Starrk pointed to a pile of towels in the corner and the boys nodded, got out and began to dry themselves off while Starrk continued to fight with Grimmjow and Nnoitra. He grumbled then snapped his fingers, grabbed a bucket and filled it with soapy water. Just as Grimmjow and Nnoitra were about to pick another fight Starrk dumped the water on them, smirking as the two stopped in their tracks and blinked. Grimmjow grumbled while he tried getting the soap out of his eyes as Starrk rinsed Nnoitra off and lifted the boy up, setting him on the floor and pointing to the towels, though as soon as the boy was dried he used his towel to whip the others, laughing.

"Nnoitra!"

Starrk hollered and got the boy's attention back on him. Nnoitra merely smiled and wrapped the towel around himself as if he hadn't done anything. Grimmjow climbed out of the tub finally when the soap was gone, not liking being in the water anymore. Starrk dried the boy off and sighed tiredly as he leaned back against the tub. He was dripping wet thanks to Grimmjow's cannon ball. Once the boys were done drying Starrk looked around and it was then that he realized there wasn't any other childrens clothing around to dress them with. He groaned and shooed the boys into the bedroom before looking to Harribel and Nelliel.

"You two.. Your turn... You can bathe yourselves right?"

"Of course!"

Harribel spoke in defence of her more matured attitude compared to the boys. Nelliel nodded quickly and smiled. Starrk was thankful he didn't have to help them out as he closed the door to the bathroom, giving the girls some privacy. He then went to his closet and grabbed out some shirts, looking them over before handing them off to the kids.

"Here you'll have to use these until I get your clothes cleaned up..."

He grumbled and the boys looked through the shirts they were given before dressing in them. Once the girls were done and dried he handed them their clothes and was thankful they were all tired out from all that happened. He tuck them all away on his bed. (Also lucky for him that he had a large bed) While the kids slept he spent the next couple of hours washing their clothes up and hanging them up to dry, figuring they'd be dried by the morning. Now he laid on his back on the floor with little Lilynette asleep on his stomach while he was staring at the ceiling.

'What am I gonna do...? I don't know anything about that madman's potions or experiments or whatever the hell he has... And I definitely don't know anything about kids or toddlers... And from what I can tell they range from the ages two to seven... Damn... Why'd I have to leave? Wait, no... Had I stayed I'd be in the same predicament and then we'd all be children for a very long time... Dammit this sucks... Ugh! I don't know the first thing about science or babysitting!' Thought the 1st Espada with a heavy sigh, his eyes finally slipping closed. He ran his hand through his hair and shifted, glancing down at the sleeping form of Lilynette. 'My poor Lilynette is just a toddler... Why me?' He thought and groaned.

He was barely able to fall asleep and when he did he had strange dreams that something was chewing on him. (More or less a certain teal-haired Espada) When he woke up he found Lilynette was sitting next to him, the Espada all surrounding him and Grimmjow had a firm grip on Starrk's head and chewing his hair. He jumped up and startled the young Espada, causing them to jump back from him. Grimmjow didn't let go. A few "om nom nom" sounds came from the young boy and Starrk growled and yanked the boy off his head with himself wincing as his hair got pulled.

"You little..."

"We're hungry!"

Grimmjow yelled in Starrk's ear before biting it and then jumping down, joining up with the other young kids. Starrk huffed and rubbed his ear, glaring at Grimmjow before looking at the rest of them. 'Great...' He thought and nodded, picking Lilynette up. He then got a wiff of something not so pleasant. He groaned and held Lilynette away from himself, staring in shock. Harribel walked up and tugged on Starrk's pant leg.

"Her diaper probably needs changed."

She said in a somewhat calm tone before stepping back. Starrk's eyes went wide and he looked to Harribel before looking back to Lilynette, unsure of what to do.

"She what? I dunno how to change a diaper! Uh.. Uh... You do it!"

He shoved Lilynette into Harribel's arms and jumped away from them, hoping that was the end of it. Harribel on the other hand blinked at Lilynette then glared at Starrk, jumping at him and shoving the young girl back into his arms.

"I don't know how to change a diaper! Besides you're the adult here, you're supposed to do it. Dummy!"

She spoke and hurried over to the others. He groaned and stared at Lilynette who was beginning to sniffle. No doubt he needed to change her diaper and soon. 'We don't even HAVE diapers here!' He thought, biting his lip. However he eventually got a plan: Sneak back to the human world, find said diapers, swipe them, and return. So he did. He was lucky enough to convince Harribel and Nelliel into watching the young toddler.

The Espada made his way to the human world and looked around. 'Now where do humans bye shit like diapers?' He thought with a sigh. He walked around until peeking into a store, grinning when he saw a shelf near the front with bags of diapers setting on it. He walked in, of course, no one could see the Espada. The clerk glanced around however, he felt a chill run down his spine. Starrk grabbed up a bag and studied it. 'What's the difference between this bag and that one?' He thought and grabbed another, different colored bag and began studying it.

The clerk paled as he watched in horror. 'Th-The bags of diapers! Th-They're floating! The store is haunted!' He thought as he began to shake and wail in terror. Starrk wasn't paying attention to him, he was too interested in trying to find out which was better. 'Ugh! Screw this!' He thought and set one bag down and left the store. The clerk quit that day.

When Starrk returned he found the kids all fighting once again, save for Harribel and Nelliel whom were actually trying to follow Starrk's orders to watch Lilynette. He rubbed his temple and set the bag down on the bed, swiping the little girl up and laying her out on the bed. After shooing the rest of the children out of his room (And making sure they all got their clothes back on) and telling Baraggan he was in charge for the moment (Which he seemed to really like the idea of) Starrk spent the next hour trying to change Lilynette's diaper. Something of which he found to be quite horrifying. The Espada hoped he'd never have to deal with such a thing again. As soon as he was done (And after he took a quick shower) he found the Espada back in his room, tearing it up.

"We're hungry! We're hungry! We're hungry!"

Grimmjow was yelling as he was bouncing up and down on Starrk's bed. Starrk groaned and he rubbed his face tiredly. 'Right, food...' He thought and ran his hand through his hair. He swiped Grimmjow off the bed and held him under his arm and looked to the others.

"Alright alright... Nel Tu get Lilynette... Then I want all of you to follow me to the dining room."

Starrk announced and everyone followed as ordered. Grimmjow squirmed and kicked at Starrk while the current elder of the two held him firmly under his arm. 'Damn... I hate kids...' He thought with a silent curse for Grimmjow. Once in the dining hall he forced each child Espada into their rightful chairs. (Of course Grimmjow kept hopping up) After getting them settled down he looks them over, rubbing his face now. 'What do kids eat?' He thought and sighed. He turned and left the room to try and figure out how to cook.

An hour of trying to cook later he comes back with a stack of plates. However when he walked into the room, he found it was completely empty save for Lilynette whom had been propped up on the table. His eyes went wide and he set the plates down quickly, swiped Lilynette, and dashed out of the dining hall to try and find the missing Espada.

"You little brats come out! Where are you? I told you to stay! Come out now I say! Dammit!"

He called out as he rushed through Las Noches. He found numerous child and infant sized Arrancers but not a single Espada. 'Dammit where'd they go?' He thought and growled. He stopped in one of the halls, took a deep breath and looked down at Lilynette whom was staring curiously at the older of the two.

"What did I do in a past life to deserve this...?"

Mumbled the 1st Espada before looking around. He then caught the sound of screaming coming from one of the training rooms. 'Oh God...' He thought and he rushed in, and sure enough he found Grimmjow and Ulquiorra fighting, rather ruthlessly at that for two children. He groaned and rushed in between the two, just when they shot out a cero at one another. Starrk was sadly caught in between. After recovering from the rather potent cero blasts from the two children Starrk stumbled away with Grimmjow under one arm and Ulquiorra under the other.

"Little bastards..."

He grumbled and hurried away to track down the rest. However he soon realized he couldn't keep both Ulquiorra and Grimmjow so close to one another. He shook his head and groaned when Grimmjow bit down on his arm. 'Alright that's it!' He thought and rushed back to the dining hall, then sat the two in their chairs. He then used a technique similar to a Bakudo to paralyze the two boys in place, smirking at his success he hurried out and tracked down the remainder of the children. (Lilynette was still in the training room however as Starrk had forgotten her) After finally finding them all (With some difficulty) Starrk had them all sitting in their chairs with their plates in front of them.

"Now eat! And don't give me that 'it's cold' shit either! It's because of you leavin' is why it's cold so get over it and eat!"

He demanded and glared at them. They didn't ignore the order, either. They all began to eat their food, and soon they were done. With a sigh of relief Starrk sunk into his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, needing to think now. He soon hopped up when he realized he left Lilynette behind. After recovering her from the training room he made his way back to the dining room. However as soon as he got back Aaroniero met him at the door.

"What...?"

He mumbled and Aaroniero just stared. Starrk cringed at the two headed Espada, he never did like looking at it. Now that it was in child form, it still creeped him out.

"We're still hungry!"

"That was not filling at all!"

"Not good not good!"

"We don't like that nasty food."

Said the heads of Aaroniero and he pouted at the man he was staring at. Starrk huffed and grumbled before picking up the 9th Espada and looked over the rest of the young children after setting Lilynette in Harribel's lap.

"Stay here this time! Got it? Baraggan you're in charge. Make sure they don't leave!"

Starrk said while leaving the room. Baraggan was more than happy to accept the role and began to make sure they listened and listened well, though he was more or less barking orders. While Baraggan assumed the role of babysitter Starrk had taken Aaroniero back into the kitchen and began trying to feed the little Espada different things to fill him.

"How about this?"

"We don't like it either!"

"We want real food!"

"I don't know what you want!"

Cried Starrk and buried his face into his hands. He had pretty much given up on finding something when he used practically everything they had to try and satisfy the child. 'I don't understand what he wants dammit!' He thought and groaned as he leaned back and looked at the Espada warily. It then finally clicked for him. He shot up and swiped the child and dashed away from the kitchen and outside of Las Noches, finding their way into Hueco Mundo. It didn't take long for the 1st Espada to find what he was looking for, and soon he came across a few hollows.

"Alright kiddo, have at it."

He said and sat Aaroniero down, pointing him at the hollows. Starrk didn't have to tell him twice, as Aaroniero began devouring the hollows without mercy. Starrk took a few steps back and cringed, watching as the child continued to devour it's food. 'I completely forgot that he enjoys eating hollows... Man... I'm so dumb sometimes it amazes me still.' He thought and rolled his eyes. After an hour of letting the child eat to it's heart content Starrk returned to Las Noches with a full and content Aaoniero. And lucky for Starrk Baraggan was able to keep the kids (Mostly) behaved. Even more lucky that Szayel was putting on another show for them all, even going so far as to having Ulquiorra help him.

'Well, alright so everyone seems to be simmered down. Good.' He thought and plopped down in his chair, watching the children before looking up at the ceiling and crossing his arms behind his head. 'Now I just need to come up with a plan... I can't take care of these kids forever... I need to find a cure for them. But dammit, how am I supposed to do that? I don't know the first damn thing about science or Szayel's lab... Man why'd this happen to me?' He thought with a quiet groan. He rubbed his head and stood up, watching the children for a few more minutes.

He nodded, seeing they were being occupied (Save for Grimmjow whom was just being loud and laughing at Ulquiorra and Szayel) and he decided to go to Szayel's lab to try and fix this problem he's created. He swiped Grimmjow up and headed out after ordering Baraggan to keep them there, though he wondered if they would all actually listen to him for very long.

TBC

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><p>Chapter two posted. How was it? Okay? Suckish? Great? Review to tell me please!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I still do not own Bleach nor the characters.

Hey everyone! Thanks for reading. I'm glad to see this fic is actually doing pretty good. Thank you so much for reviewing/faving! I hope this chapter will be as good as the last two. Sorry the chapters aren't long but, the fic itself wasn't very long to begin with. Please enjoy! Thanks again!

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><p>"Lemme go ya big stupid head! Where are going?"<p>

Grimmjow growled and kicked at Starrk, biting him while they made their way to Szayel's lab. Starrk was trying his best to keep from strangling the boy. 'I knew he was a pain in the ass as an adult... I had no idea he was an even bigger pain in the ass as a child!' Starrk thought and twitched when Grimmjow bit Starrk's arm once again. Once in the lab he threw Grimmjow onto the ground with a glare and huff.

"Bastard..."

He grumbled and shut the door behind himself, making sure Grimmjow couldn't escape. While dodging Grimmjow's attempt at "punishing" Starrk for cussing Starrk was looking around the lab. He rubbed his head and groaned while looking at the different beakers, test tubes, glasses and such. 'How should I do this? I don't wanna kill anyone or myself.' He thought and picked at the beakers that had caused this whole mess. He hummed and noticed each beaker had a different colored liquid. He then snapped his fingers.

"I got it! I'll match the color of these and see if I can't get it to reverse itself! I'm a genius."

He spoke to himself and began to study the colors of what was left from the mess. He then began mixing different liquids. Grimmjow was watching curiously and seemingly entertained by the man working with the brightly colored liquids. A few hours later and many failed attempts (And learning that this was far more difficult to do than Starrk first realized it'd be) Starrk got one of the liquids to turn a color similar to what he was looking for, he looked to Grimmjow and handed him the beaker.

"Drink."

"What? No! I ain't drinkin' no more! That last one turned me pink for an hour!"

Grimmjow replied and hopped away from the other Espada. Luckily for Grimmow Starrk did seem to have found a reverse for most of the affects that were put onto him by the experiments. Starrk huffed and began chasing Grimmjow around, the beaker in hand. Grimmjow however didn't seem to be interested in drinking the liquid what so ever and continued to dodge the 1st Espada.

"Dammit Grimmjow sit still and drink it! I need to try and fix this mess! Now drink!"

"No!"

"Drink it!"

"NO!"

Grimmjow yelled and once again dodged the Espada. Starrk growled and stopped, watching the teal-haired boy for a moment before using a technique to paralyze him. He smirked and stepped over to Grimmjow. The 5th Espada looked to Starrk and stuck his tongue out at him, which proved to be a bad move on Grimmjow's part as Starrk shoved the beaker into Grimmjow's mouth and forced him into drinking it. When he stepped back Grimmjow only gagged and tried to spit out the rest of the liquid. Starrk leaned against the counter and watched Grimmjow carefully.

'Well he ain't turning a different color... His voice sounds the same... He ain't got no other limbs popping out... Maybe that was a-' His thoughts were cut off when a cloud of smoke surrounded the young Espada. His eyes went wide and he grinned a little, hoping this was it. When the smoke cleared however, Starrk saw something he was not expecting at all. There, sitting in place of Grimmjow, was a teal-colored, panther cub...

"W-Wha...?"

Starrk let out a strangled whine and stared wide eyed as the cub shifted on the floor and opened it's eyes, looking up at Starrk then hissed and jumped away. 'Oh no... Oh no oh no oh no.. No... Not good.. Not good at all!' Thought the Espada as he slowly made his way to Grimmjow whom only hissed again and ran away from the Espada.

"Dammit come over here!"

He leaped at the panther cub and finally got it into his grasps. He smirked with triumph as he stood up and held the cub firmly. 'Got ya...' He thought with a snort and nod. Grimmjow growled and looked at Starrk for a moment, then in an instant it's claws were out and scratching the Espada that held it. Starrk winced and dropped the cub after it bit down on his hand, now rubbing it he glared at the cub as it hissed at him. He was about to grab it up again when he heard footsteps coming up behind him. He turned to see Nelliel.

"Nell's bored."

She spoke as she stared up at the taller Espada. He twitched and looked from her, to cub Grimmjow, to the door which was wide open. His eyes doubled and he lunged at the door to shut it, but it was too late. Grimmjow had already raced past him with incredible speed (No doubt due to his being an Espada) and before Starrk knew it the cub was out of the lab. Starrk mentally cursed and looked to Nelliel whom was blinking at him.

"When did we get a kitty? I wanna play with the kitty!"

She spoke eagerly and bounced in place whilst clapping her hands. Starrk huffed and rubbed his face, closing his eyes now as he started thinking. 'Great, not only did I not find a cure but I turned Grimmjow into a cub...' He huffed and looked to Nelliel with a blank look, pointiing at the door.

"That wasn't a kitty, it was a panther cub! There's a difference! A panther is big, dangerous and scary, a cat is small, weak and annoying! And WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?"

He groaned and then dashed out of the lab without a seconds thought, in search of a certain teal colored cub. Nelliel blinked after him, looked around, hummed then skipped out to find something else to do. Meanwhile Starrk was on the hunt for panther. And he soon found it, in his room! Starrk felt his twitch return as the panther cub version of Grimmjow had quickly tore up his bed, pillows, walls, floors and even the ceiling. The cub was currently chewing on one of Starrk's pillows. It looked towards Starrk, hissed and took off running, easily running under and in between Starrk's legs and was once again on the run.

Starrk however was on his heels (Or paws to be correct) this time and he wasn't about to lose him. As the two ran through the halls, Ulquiorra was walking calmly through them, as he had gotten bored of Szayel's play and was able to finally escape him. Ulquiorra stopped however as he heard Starrk cursing ahead of him. There he saw Starrk chasing a teal colored cub. Ulquiorra easily snatched up the cub before it could get away, and he stared at it curiously. Starrk skidded to a stop in front of Ulquiorra and with a pant he snatched the cub from the boy.

"Thanks... Ulquiorra..."

He panted and glared at Grimmjow. Grimmjow growled and whined while he tried getting away, but Starrk was just going to ignore the clawing and biting and kept a good grip on him. Ulquiorra was staring up at Starrk blankly.

"What is that?"

"This... Is a panther cub... Who actually is Grimmjow... Don't ask..."

He grumbled and glanced to Ulquiorra. He then began walking back to the lab in hopes of finding a cure for not only the children Espada and Arrancar but now for Grimmjow. Ulquiorra was following behind Starrk. Starrk glanced back at the boy and raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you following me...?"

He asked while he tried to keep Grimmjow from further mutilating his hands and arms. Ulquiorra merely stared at Starrk and Grimmjow blankly while he continued to follow.

"I am unsure as to what you're trying to do, but I believe I can be an assistance to you."

The boy spoke in a monotonous voice, staring at Starrk still. Starrk sighed and decided to accept the offer, knowing he needed all the help he could get to try and fix this mess of his. Once back at the lab Starrk tried a few different liquids on panther Grimmjow, and lucky for him he found one that did the job and turned the panther cub back into a boy. With some luck he found another liquid that looked interesting to him, and decided to go with his gut on this and shoved the beaker at Grimmjow.

"Drink."

Grimmjow glared and jumped away from him, shaking his head violently. Starrk huffed and went to shove it into his mouth, but this time Grimmjow had jumped away and ran to the other side of the room.

"No way! I ain't drinkin' no more of your stupid potions! Use Ulquiorra! I ain't doin' it!"

Growled Grimmjow and Starrk sighed heavily, but nodded. He figured it'd be best, and at least Ulquiorra would be more willing. He looked to the boy whom was sitting calmly at one of the counters and watching quietly. Starrk held out the beaker, hoping he wouldn't have to force it. Ulquiorra stared at the beaker blankly for a moment after taking it.

"Please, just take a sip..."

Starrk was practically begging by this point, and Grimmjow stood behind Starrk and watched as Ulquiorra took a sip of the liquid. He then handed the beaker back to Starrk and both Starrk and Grimmjow watched the boy closely. Grimmjow reached up and poked him.

"I don't think that did anything at all."

The boy explained and Ulquiorra swatted Grimmjow's hand away, glaring at him. Then just as Starrk was about to try something else, a puff of smoke appeared and surrounded Ulquiorra. Starrk went wide eyed. 'Not again.. Please not again...!' He thought, practically prayed, but to no avail. A flapping sound could be heard, and then when the smoke cleared Ulquiorra was gone and instead, a bat was flying in place of him. 'Oh no!' He thought and went to swipe up the bat version of Ulquiorra. But that's not what he was able to grab as it flew above his head and began flying around the room. (Thankfully Starrk had shut and locked the door this time around)

"Not again!"

Starrk cried and began trying to catch the bat that flew quickly around the ceiling of the room. Grimmjow was however no help as he was literally rolling on the floor laughing at Starrk. Starrk shot him a look before looking to Ulquiorra whom wasn't about to come down without a fight. Starrk glared and cursed, only to be hit in the head by a cero from Grimmjow.

"No cussing!"

"Shut up pipsqueak!"

He growled and rubbed his head while looking around the room in hopes of finding something, anything to help snatch the bat before things got any worse than they were. He then quickly made a shape shift net with his jacket and sword. His smile was filled with malice. The bat Ulquiorra challenged him with a squeak.

TBC

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><p>Chapter three done and posted! Thanks for reading, please review! The next chappie will be the final one.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: What part of I don't own Bleach or the characters, do people not get? XD

Final chapter! I'm really glad to see this fic seemed pretty popular. I enjoyed writing it and, well, yeah I enjoyed writing it. XD I adore Starrk so, I loved being able to use him. Hope the last chapter is good, I tried pretty hard to keep things fun filled still! So... Enjoy! Don't forget to review when done!

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><p>The two went at it while Grimmjow sat back and watched, laughing the whole time. They went back and forth for at least an hour. Starrk leaped into the air again and swung the make shift net at the bat, but Ulquiorra easily dodged and flew under him and to the other side of the room. Starrk lunged at him, casted a cero to force Ulquiorra to one corner and swung the net at him again but Ulquiorra used his own cero and blasted the net to pieces. Starrk stared at his burned jacket and sword while his twitch formed again. 'Little bastard...' He thought and growled.<p>

He then put his sword away and looked to Grimmjow whom was rolling all over the floor and laughing. He then narrowed his eyes, grabbed the teal-haired boy and threw him at the bat with incredible speed. Grimmjow cried out as he hit the bat and they both fell to the floor. Grimmjow rolled away and was gripping his head, whining loudly and rubbing his head violently as it stung from landing on it. Before Ulquiorra could gather himself Starrk lunged at the bat and grabbed it up, stuffed it into a jar and then put a lid on it, a look of triumph on his face.

"Ah ha! Get out of that one, ya little demon bat!"

He said and smirked. The bat flapped it's wings and tried to escape the large jar but to no such luck. Starrk set the jar down and rubbed his head, now wondering as to how to fix Ulquiorra along with the others. Grimmjow huffed and hopped up, kicking Starrk hard in the shin.

"Jerk! That hurt!"

Grimmjow screeched, Starrk merely rubbed his shin and stared at the different beakers Szayel had in his lab. Grimmjow then hopped onto one of the counters and tapped the side of the jar that had Ulquiorra in it, smirking as the bat squeaked and lunged itself at the glass in retaliation.

"Don't make him mad Grimmjow! He can still use a cero to blow his way out of there."

"Yeah yeah whatever... So doesn't he need to be able to breathe?"

Asked the teal-haired Espada and watched as Ulquiorra was panting and slowing down, landing in the jar now. Starrk's eyes went wide and he looked to Ulquiorra, groaning as he grabbed his sword, unsheathed it and poked a couple holes in the lid of the jar. With a sigh of relief the 1st Espada sheathed his sword and sat into one of the chairs. He was cursing while picking at the different beakers. 'I hate science...' He thought with quite a lot of passion behind it and glared at the beaker as if it'd change into the one he needed it to be. Grimmjow was staring at Starrk blankly for awhile until he looked to Ulquiorra whom was once again flying in the jar.

With some luck and a few hours later Starrk found one that worked in getting Ulquiorra back into a child. Ulquiorra however continued to help Starrk where as Grimmjow merely stayed back and laughed at every new failed experiment. Finally after three hours of going at it Starrk leaned against the counter and buried his face into his hands. 'I hate my life right now...' He thought and groaned as Grimmjow climbed onto Starrk's back, clinging to him. Starrk huffed and glanced over his shoulder at the boy.

"What...?"

"'M tired..."

The boy replied and yawned. Ulquiorra nodded in agreement, also becoming tired. Starrk groaned and mixed yet another two liquids.

"One more..."

He mumbled to himself, then looked to Ulquiorra, handed it to him and the boy stared warily for a moment before accepting it and sipping. He then began gagging and spat up the liquid, glaring at Starrk.

"That tasted quite badly..."

He commented and Starrk huffed. The only difference to this one was... Ulquiorra's voice had gotten strangely high pitched. Grimmjow blinked and looked at the other boy then dropped to the floor and began laughing. Ulquiorra glared at Grimmjow.

"Stop laughing."

"Y-You're voice! Sounds like a little girls! Ahahaha!"

"Stop!"

Grimmjow merely continued to laugh. Starrk rolled his eyes and out of frustration he threw a handful of beakers into the wall, glaring at them and swiping up both boys and leaving the lab.

"Let's just go kids... I'll try again tomorrow."

He mumbled and walked away. After finding out the kids had made their way back to his bedroom (Why he didn't understand that) and had thoroughly messed everything up, along with breaking almost everything he owned, he dropped Ulquiorra on his bed with Grimmjow. He then dragged all the kids to the mess hall once again and gave them dinner (Which took another hour to cook) and when he returned he found Nelliel was playing dress up with Lilynette. Starrk didn't want to know where the 6th Espada got the clothing. He snuck away from the rest of the kids while they devoured their food and fed himself and Lilynette after getting her back into her normal clothes.

Now the 1st Espada was passed out in a room he found was left empty by the dozens or more Arrancar that roamed the halls. He was surprised to know how many there were now that they were all children and toddlers. He didn't even consider feeding the rest of them, he figured the Arrancer could find something in the kitchen. (Which Starrk had noted they had already done once, making it hard for him to find something for the rest of the Espada) Now with Lilynette asleep next to him Starrk was staring tiredly at the ceiling.

'If I don't find a cure for them I'm going to be stuck changing diapers and feeding these little monsters for a hell of a long time... Damn...' He thought and groaned. He rolled over and buried his face into the pillow, and with that it didn't take much to knock him out. However, elsewhere in Las Noches, deep inside Szayel Aporro's lab there was something stirring. The beakers Starrk had thrown out of frustration was emitting a smoke and the smoke found it's way into the vents. That night the smoke from the lab filled Las Noches without anyone knowing about it.

The next day Starrk woke up and rolled over on the bed, blinking tiredly a couple times before sitting up, stretching and cracking his back and yawning somewhat loudly. He stood and rubbed his neck while walking out of the room. He blinked and looked back to the bed. 'Where's Lilynette?' He thought then looked around the room, checking under the bed, in the closet and bathroom, but the toddler wasn't anywhere to be found. 'Great, I bet Nel Tu found us and kidnapped her!' He thought and began walking through Las Noches in search of Lilynette.

It was more quiet than it had been the previous day. This concerned the Espada. He quickened his pace and looked through the rooms until he came into the meeting room, jumping back as he seen the Espada in their chairs.

"It's about time you showed up Starrk."

Grimmjow said lazily and leaned back into his chair, his arms crossed behind his head. Starrk couldn't believe his eyes. Every Espada was back to being their normal ages, as if nothing had happened. 'Did I miss something? I know they were kids!' He thought and began rubbing his eyes frantically. Ulquiorra stared at Starrk.

"Is something the matter?"

"Y-You... You're all back!"

Starrk spoke up and went over, pulling at each of them to see if what he was seeing was real. Grimmjow growled and swatted Starrk's hand away.

"What the hell is your problem? We didn't go anywhere, dumbass!"

Grimmjow grumbled and glared. Starrk practically hugged him, which caused the latter to throw him into the wall.

"The hell? I don't swing that way you pervert!"

Grimmjow growled and went to use a cero at Starrk. Ulquiorra shook his head, then reached up and grabbed Grimmjow's wrist, stopping him.

"Stop. Obviously we're missing something here. Allow him to speak."

Ulquiorra spoke calmly and Grimmjow merely growled and glared at him then looked to Starrk, his arms crossed now as he waited for the 1st Espada to explain himself. Starrk was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, staring up at them somewhat blankly. 'So they don't even remember this whole mess?' He thought and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. They were all staring at him in wonder.

"Heeeeeyyyyy! Wake up!"

Lilynette yelled as she came running up to Starrk, kicking him hard in the face. He groaned as he fell sideways and she began jumping on his ribs. He looked up at Lilynette and his eyes went somewhat wide.

"Lilynette!"

He called out and wrapped his arms around the girl, hugging her close, practically squeezing her to death. Her eyes went wide and she stared at Starrk in disbelief. 'What the hell?' She thought and groaned while he tightened his grip even more so.

"Lilynette I missed you so much I'm so happy to see you!"

He swooned and continued to hold and squeeze her. Everyone (Including a dumb struck Ulquiorra) gaped at the sight of the 1st Espada actually showing enthusiasm. Lilynette gasped and groaned, pushing at Starrk's chest to try and free herself.

"You're creepin' us out man let go! Lemme go I can't breathe!"

She screeched and Starrk blinked but nodded and let go, getting up and rubbing the back of his neck lazily. 'Man... I never want kids...' He thought and glanced to the others whom were still stunned at his sudden outburst of emotion.

"What's wrong with you Starrk? You never act like this."

Szayel hummed and watched Starrk's movements. Starrk then looked to him and his face went blank. 'I ain't sayin' anythin' about this...' He thought with a nod. He waved his hand and began to walk away, but he froze when he heard a soft cry. His face paled and he turned around to see a small Arrancer that looked to be only three or four. Starrk screamed and fell back on the floor, fainting. Nelliel blinked and walked up, picking up the small Arrancar and looked Starrk over.

"Is he okay...? I've never seen him act so... Strange. Didn't he get the memo that we got a new addition to the Numeros?"

She asked and patted the Arrancer on the head. It blinked and stared at Starrk whom was out cold. For the next week Lilynette would be wary of Starrk, afraid she might witness another strange outburst. Starrk never spoke of the incident. However...

"Oh my..."

Spoke Szayel as he stared at his monitor. He had wondered what happened to his lab and went back to his video logs to see what exactly had happened. He found the truth. He merely chuckled and smirked while he stared at the screen. 'I see... So that's what happened. How interesting.' Thought the Espada as he shut his computer off. Szayel never questioned Starrk however, finding it more amusing to tease the 1st Espada with fake gas explosions whenever Starrk was around. Starrk was concerned. He never questioned Szayel of this. Starrk decided to stay away from the labs from now on and sleep instead.

He thought that logic worked out best for him, it had never failed him before.

End.

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><p>It's finished! Yay! XD Sorry it was short. I tried. I'm not good at humor, as I said before. I hope it was good though! Please review to tell me how things went! Thanks for reading! Until next time!<p> 


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